Monday, August 3, 2009

The Last Hoorah

Well, it's official. I am no longer employed. Of course, if you are a mom of young kiddies, you are laughing as you read this. While my employment has come to an end as far as the IRS is concerned, my job is bigger than ever, and I am excited to expand my job responsibilities.

My office had a "going away" party for me this past weekend at the beach. I have been at this job for nearly 5 years -- started it the month after we found out we were pregnant with Robbie. The beach is only a 2 1/2 hour drive for us, so we planned to make it a day trip.

I must be honest. I was excited about this outing. Although I have had a professional career these past 6 years, I have spent most of the last 5 working from my home -- in pajamas, conversing with the rest of the professional world only over email or by telephone. So I bought a new outfit, had my eyebrows waxed, and got a spray tan. Yes, you heard me -- I had a spray tan! I have done this before and it's perfect. There is no time to get a sitter and go lie in the tanning bed for a week -- not to mention the fact that it is a glorified toaster. I must admit that it looked rather good, and my husband is planning to amend our budget to make this a regular expense! (Just kidding.)

I made the lists, packed the bags, extra clothes for the kids, swim diapers, sunscreen, beach chairs, made a cake, and we hit the road. We actually left early and things were going smoothly. Until we hit the traffic. You would think that after living there for nearly 4 years, we would not have been taken by surprise. The traffic is terrible there. We just forgot how terrible it was. It took us nearly 1 1/2 hours to go 5 miles through the bridge tunnels. I realized we were going to be an hour late for my own party, and I was so upset. The kids had been great travelers though and were entertaining eachother very well. As the traffic started to thin out, I decided to climb into the back of the car to feed Caleb some baby food. I sat down between the 2 kids, and pulled out a jar of pears. I had been sitting there for no longer than 30 seconds when I heard a terrible sound. Then I heard it again. Eveley proceeded to projectile vomit her entire stomach all over herself and all over me. There were bits of food all over my new shorts and my brown arms and legs. It kept coming. I was screaming and almost crying -- but there was no pulling over since we were now inside the long anticipated bridge tunnels. For the final 15 minutes of the trip, I was changing her clothes, wiping off the car seat, cleaning off toys (since the vomit had landed inside the bin of toys I had so carefully packed) and trying to keep myself from vomiting as well. Fotunately, I had brought her extra clothes. I myself was not so fortunate. I guess I can sort of laugh about it now. So much for having cute eyebrows and tan skin if you smell like spoiled yogurt. Oh well.

This is how I felt when we finally arrived -- exhausted, but nice eyebrows, right?!

We finally made the party and had a great time. "I will miss everyone," I told them, "a little bit." The kids loved the beach and I remembered how peaceful the sounds of the ocean are. It's a good thing these kids are cute!


Mrs. Allie Carpenter said...

Yes, your eyebrows look awesome! Oh the life of a mommy:)Caleb is getting so big!! I am happy for you! I hope you guys can make it out here for a trip! I would love to see you! Peyton goes to a year round kind of school, they get 6 weeks off in the summer, 2 weeks in the fall, 2 weeks in the spring, and 2 weeks in the winter! Not too bad!

CMG's Mom said...

Oh hon...I was really not laughing at your misery at all until I saw the picture of YOU! The look on your face tells the story...Good thing we love them so much or those times would not be laughable at any point.
Congrats on your new job, although it won't feel like work at all after the job you've done for the past 5 years managing it all. I always referred to my title as a "play-at-home mom". Enjoy it all.
Caleb is looking so much like Robbie now!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh Lauren..I am so sorry BUT your eyebrows~WOW~ they do look awesome:) Caleb does look SO much like Robbie. And the spray tan looks good too.

QuEEn oF tHe cAstLe said...

You KILL me!!! You really should write a book. the way you told this story had me in tears!!! :) LOL

Yes, the eyebrows look wonderful!!

Anonymous said...

Oh my. That is funny (now ... maybe). But not fun. Happened to us once on a 4 hour trip from grandma's house. The child arrived home in diaper and one of his Dad's flannel shirts ... and the car smelled awful.
Enjoy your new job :)