Keep Calm.

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I must admit that "calm" is not an adjective I would use to describe my house.
It is cozy, crazy, loud, and fun.

But definitely not calm.

Most would assume that the absence of calm is due to the twins.

Wrong.  These 2 are pretty calm.

At 8 months ~

Mr. Jack has 4 teeth, is crawling super fast, loves to eat and jump, and hasn't lost his smile.

Miss Ryan is working on cutting 2 teeth.  She is rock solid sitting up but has no desire to move.  She has beautiful, piercing blue eyes, the best cheeks ever, and you better not mess with her Puffs.

Every time I look into their big eyes, I am blown away by this gift that feels like a great big bear hug from God.

But the calm stops here.

Enter stage left. Caleb.

I really cannot put into words how my heart overflows with love for this monster.  He is super special to me and I love him more than I can describe.

But I'm not sure he understands English.  

Despite every possible method to teach him how to treat and play with Jack and Ryan,

he continuously terrorizes the babies.

CONTINUOUSLY.

I am hoping that soon the twins will be old enough (and big enough) to hold their own and teach Mr. Monster a little lesson.  I've been giving them pep talks and game plans, and they seem to be united in this mission.

When Jack sees the Monster, he starts to cry.  

But Miss Ryan thinks he's hilarious.

Even a smack or pinch by the Monster doesn't get her down.

Until....

Enter stage right. Eveley.

Nope.  No calm here.

But lots of smiles and giggles.

and some strategizing.

Death

Death stinks.  It is plain rude.  And as abnormal and rare as our culture pretends it to be, death is all around me.

Sickness.  Cancer.  Tragedy.  Evil.

The world tells me that death is final and avoidable.

It isn't.

It was 5 years ago today that we experienced death and said goodbye to our beautiful Robbie.

And while death was indeed devastating and unwelcome, the Bible tells me


 death is just the beginning




We miss Robbie.  Still.  I miss his chubby cheeks and sweet voice. His absence is very obvious. I  wonder how different our life would be if he was leading my brood.  Maybe he would keep Caleb in line. Or curb Eveley's competitive spirit.  And what would he think about these twins?

I'm not sure.

My sweet Eveley talks about her big brother Robbie all the time.  No, seriously. All the time.  And they have never met.  If you ask her how many children we have, she will always loudly answer 5.  This has made for some interesting conversations around the mailbox in our  new neighborhood.

Eveley is excited that we will be with Robbie again and has an entire list of things she plans to tell and ask him.

She has a very unique perspective on death.  We will all die one day and, she reminds us, it could be today. To her, death is pretty normal and only leads to something better.  She does not fear it or sense the need to avoid it.

She wants to "go see Robbie's flowers" every time we are near.  Here, she was just 2.

As we were celebrating Christmas with my parents, my dad asked the children, "Why did Jesus come to this world as a little baby?"  Eveley promptly raised her hand and responded, "He came to be our Savior."

Jesus came to save us from our sins and defeat death.  It's pretty simple to her.

But it is the truth. And she believes it. So do I.

Robbie is alive. He is safe.  We will be with him again someday.

And while here with us for just shy of 2 years, our Robbie gave us snuggles and kisses and left us an incredible gift - Homesickness.  For that we are grateful.

Until we see you again.  Maranatha!