Monday, January 16, 2012


Death stinks.  It is plain rude.  And as abnormal and rare as our culture pretends it to be, death is all around me.

Sickness.  Cancer.  Tragedy.  Evil.

The world tells me that death is final and avoidable.

It isn't.

It was 5 years ago today that we experienced death and said goodbye to our beautiful Robbie.

And while death was indeed devastating and unwelcome, the Bible tells me

 death is just the beginning

We miss Robbie.  Still.  I miss his chubby cheeks and sweet voice. His absence is very obvious. I  wonder how different our life would be if he was leading my brood.  Maybe he would keep Caleb in line. Or curb Eveley's competitive spirit.  And what would he think about these twins?

I'm not sure.

My sweet Eveley talks about her big brother Robbie all the time.  No, seriously. All the time.  And they have never met.  If you ask her how many children we have, she will always loudly answer 5.  This has made for some interesting conversations around the mailbox in our  new neighborhood.

Eveley is excited that we will be with Robbie again and has an entire list of things she plans to tell and ask him.

She has a very unique perspective on death.  We will all die one day and, she reminds us, it could be today. To her, death is pretty normal and only leads to something better.  She does not fear it or sense the need to avoid it.

She wants to "go see Robbie's flowers" every time we are near.  Here, she was just 2.

As we were celebrating Christmas with my parents, my dad asked the children, "Why did Jesus come to this world as a little baby?"  Eveley promptly raised her hand and responded, "He came to be our Savior."

Jesus came to save us from our sins and defeat death.  It's pretty simple to her.

But it is the truth. And she believes it. So do I.

Robbie is alive. He is safe.  We will be with him again someday.

And while here with us for just shy of 2 years, our Robbie gave us snuggles and kisses and left us an incredible gift - Homesickness.  For that we are grateful.

Until we see you again.  Maranatha!



Christine said...

I am praying for you today, Lauren. I'm so thankful that you talk about Robbie because, even though I didn't know him, I am blessed by his life and the way you celebrate it. Praise God that He has defeated death and you will see Robbie again!

Sorry I missed seeing you yesterday. See you soon.

Ben and April said...

Each year as I read your post remembering Robbie, I am humbled by you sweet testimony of faithfulness to our Savior! What a blessing to know we will see our loved ones again. Praying for you. I was able to share your blog with a friend of mine this year who lost her little boy.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Lauren, for encouraging me with your faith in God and His Word.
And thank you, Lord, for becoming the sacrifice, once and for all, that would make a way for sinners to come to you. This hope is indeed the anchor of our souls. We anticipate it, but Robbie is enjoying it already. To finally see Jesus, the One we love so much, and bow before Him in thanksgiving, will be just the beginning of a glorious future for us all.
I love you, sweetie, and I'm so proud of you. Mom

Amanda said...

What a beautiful way you honor sweet Robbie; and what a reminder you are that this earth is NOT our home. Praying for you today, friend.

Anonymous said...

We love you guys!!! Thinking of you all... xoxo

Jenna and Brian and fam

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this. Blessings to you and your family.

Ani said...

My prayers are with you and your family today.

merlin said...

The pain, the hole, it never, ever ends.
I was overcome with sweet, sorrowful gratitude when I saw your post a while ago with all of Robbie's siblings and cousins wearing their # shirts, that his place as #1 is sacred, remembered in your family.

You honor your son with his sweet memory shared, kept alive, and by living a life of hope. Prayers of peace and faith for heart(s)that will spend this lifetime longing.

eeguiltner said...

Praying for you and your family today, Lauren. Praying that God will bless you with His presence in a powerful tangible way today especially.
~Erin Guiltner

amomwithnails said...

Beautiful post in so many ways Lauren. Eveley Joy is a true gift and spreading the word of hope...a true little missionary. What a model of faith you've taught her by example. I can't believe it's been 5 years...remember him in our last MOPS meeting like it was yesterday.
Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

God is good, ALL the time.

3 Peanuts said...

I can only imagine how you miss your sweet Robbie. I am sure your heart and arms ache for him. Your faith in the face of tragedy and loss always amazes me. Love and prayers

Bev said...

we love you guys! Praying for you!

Kelly said...

Thinking about you and your family, and even though I don't see you guys you guys hold a speacial place in my heart!

georgi said...

Death is a hard thing, humanly speaking, there is little comfort, that is why Christians are truly blessed...we see it in a whole different perspective. May your grief be brief, and your memories be happy, looking forward to the day you see Robbie again.