Miss the Target

I don't get out much.

When I was pregnant with Robbie, I had those new mom visions. I planned to get up in the morning and casually get us both dressed in our cutest outfits. Then we would stroll around Target while I sipped on my white chocolate mocha and he quietly smiled at shoppers.

Okay. You can stop laughing now. I read "What to Expect when You're Expecting" from cover to cover and never found the chapter -- Taking Your Kids out in Public will likely cause you to Lose Your Mind.

Our weeks are filled with fun outings - Bible study and MOPS - but the rest of the days require some major juggling as I try to maintain a sense of household order and organization. There are meals to plan and groceries to buy. MOPS activities to prepare. Birthday and baby gifts to ship to friends, and Easter and wedding apparel to find.

I'm a planner. So I brainstormed and came up with the checklist and plan to get these things accomplished in the most efficient manner possible.

One small problem.

I forgot about the 2 monkeys that would be accompanying me on this shopping spree and that their mood is as unpredictable as Simon Cowell's. They did not disappoint.

We got going early to avoid the late morning meltdowns. We were fed, bathed, dressed and at Target by 9:00 (not bad considering we live about 40 minutes from Target). I was pumped.

I grabbed one of the "cool" bugggies (one I used to swear I would never be caught dead pushing) and began to strap in the monkeys. Eveley went into hysterics. Total fit. She decided that today, she wanted to run around the store. And she was not taking no for an answer. She screamed. Screamed. I pushed us over to a corner to quietly tell her she needed to be a sweet girl and stop crying so we could have a fun day together. "I do not want to be a sweet girl," she responded. I know. We all knew.

I then began to bribe her. Goldfish? Lollipops? A milkshake? Nope.

Then Caleb felt left out and began to scream and try to get out of his seat. I began to reconsider whether this was going to be my fantasy Target shopping trip. Caleb must have thought I was still unconvinced so he proceeded to throw up all over the place. I remained focused and kept pushing.

I would have to chop down my list to the bare essentials. Milk. Coffee. Cereal. Fruit Snacks. And a new pair of shoes if kids could be distracted by the fruit snacks long enough.

We were out of the store by 9:30.

I may be a little late, but I have decided that, for Lent, I will be giving up shopping alone with the kids. No more.

So if you think you see me out in town alone with the kids, you are mistaken.