Five

Today is Robbie's 5th birthday -- and my 5 year anniversary of motherhood.

Bittersweet.

Robbie, I thank you for giving me my dream job and allowing me to be a mom. I can't believe it has been 5 years since we first saw your beautiful face and big blue eyes. They were wide open from the very first moment. You were constantly a burst of energy. You walked while holding our hands at 3 months. And you were on your own by 9 months.

You loved music, books, Mickey Mouse, Elmo, stars, and dogs. You did not like it when mama would sing opera or play the piano and would cry hysterically!

You were very independent and could play well with most anyone. But you loved your mama and daddoo. Every morning, you would get in bed with me and snuggle. Your hands would instantly go to my pits -- for some reason you loved to keep your fingers safe and snug under my arm.

I wish you were here with your sister and brother. They are crazy. But they are a lot like you, and I know you would have loved the new swingset.

Eveley talks about you all the time. She says, "Robbie is in my heart." And that is very true. Just a few days ago, she asked me to tell her how she could go to heaven like you. She has an interest and excitement for heaven because of you. That is a great gift.

Caleb is giving you a run for your money on the ABCs. But he hasn't mastered his numbers yet. And I think he looks like you, although most everybody else thinks he looks like your dad.

Dear Robbie, our lives have been forever changed by your coming and your going. We miss you every minute of every day.

These past 5 years included some wonderful highs and some devastating lows. But we excitedly anticipate our reunion and praise the One who has written the end of our story.