Saturday, January 16, 2010

Lord, Haste the Day When Our Faith Shall be Sight!

3 years ago today, I spent the first night away from my sweet Robbie. We were together every day and night, most every minute, for almost 20 months.


As I drove away from the hospital that night, I knew my God was in control. But I also knew that He better be bigger than I first thought if we were going to survive this tragedy.

He is.

I Miss

~your big blue eyes
~your round cheeks
~your smell
~hearing you say mama and dadoo
~watching you run to the door to greet daddy
~you climbing into bed with me in the early morning
~watching you play outside
~reading your favorite books -- Are You My Mama?, ABCs, Green Eggs & Ham, Bible storybook
~hearing you pray
~singing to you. I always sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know Boo how much I love you. Never ever move away."
~your tantrums
~you falling to sleep in my arms
~watching you point out the letters in the stores and in the car
~your laugh and big expressions

I Don't Know

~why this is our story. I begged that it would not be.
~why God didn't prevent it or perform a miracle. He could have.

I Do Know

~our God is love
~our God is always with us
~our God is not surprised or taken off guard by anything
~our God will never fail or forsake us
~our God is worthy of our praise, regardless of the circumstances
~our God always does what is best -- under His definition and His perspective only -- to glorify Himself, to increase His Kingdom, and to allow us to know Him more.
~our God has defeated death and the grave

I had heard of You with my ears,
but now my eyes see You. Job 42:5


Anonymous said...

What a beautiful tribute to your precious Robbie. Love you guys.

Jenna and Brian

Maggie said...

So hard. Praying for you today.

Ben and April said...

What a beautiful boy!! Praying for you!

eeguiltner said...

Praying for some comfort for you today. May God bless you with a special awareness of His presence.
~Erin and Clay Guiltner

Anonymous said...

Lauren, thank you so much for sharing those pictures. I LOVED seeing them and remembering. I love you all so much,

Anonymous said...

I was looking myfriends blog and somehow came across yours. I saw the title and it made me read it! I must just say WOW what an amazing tribute not only to your son but to an amazing God, that although you dont know why He did not preorm a miracle, you do know SO much more about Him and His Unfailing love for us! Wow what a Wonderful testimony, in the midst of a crisis. My prayers are with your family. God Bless you!

april T said...

It was 7 yrs ago yesterday my mom went to heaven, very hard thing even when you think you are never really are, and every yr. now I think of you guys at the same time I mourn the loss of my mom. Praise God its not the end!

Anonymous said...

Blest child! Dear child! For thee Jesus is calling; And of our household thee - and only thee! Oh, hasten hence! to His embraces hasten! Sweet shall thy rest and safe thy shelter be.
2 Samuel 12:22-23

Jennifer said...

Beautifully said, Lauren. I may never have met Robbie, but you do such a wonderful job of keeping his memory alive that I feel as though I've gotten to know him. Love to you and your family this weekend!

Amanda said...

Your faith is overwhelming. Robbie was and is a blessed little boy and so beautiful! Love to you and Bob!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh sweet Lauren. You are so wise. In reading the Bible more and more I know that God tests us in this life to determine how our eternity will be. When you are Bob were tested in the very deepest way you immediately turned TO the Lord whereas many people might have turned away. That has inspired me and many more than you will ever know.


Anonymous said...

Lolly, I struggle with understanding this great void in your life. Praise God it is only for a short season. My heart aches for you and Bob each day. God is using this incredible journey to touch the lives of so many. I know that you did not choose this journey nor would you wish it upon anyone. What you have done with what came your way is remarkable. I love you so much-Dad

Kim said...

This is a beautiful tribute of life and hope. I have followed your blog for over a year and am touched by your testimony. I look forward to being able to meet you in person and I am excited that you are going to share with our ladies at Union Grove.

Kim Harris
Lexington, NC

asd said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
asd said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
asd said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Meg said...

I too came across your site during some free-time bloghopping. I just had to let you know how much your words moved me and how your testimony brings me to tears. Thank you for sharing your story and for reminding me that our God reigns no matter the circumstances. Praying that today is a great day for you and your family.

clayton said...

Hi Bob and Lauren, thanks for sharing your heart on the blog. What a beautiful, sweet boy your Robbie is...please know we are praying for you guys and are honored to have gotten to meet you.