Homesick

I guess 4 months is long enough to be blogging before discussing the name of the blog. So, let me explain.

It's hard to express how I felt after Robbie went to heaven. I knew He was safe and happy there. I knew his soul was alive and free. I knew it was just his body that we were placing into the ground. But I loved that body. He was my beautiful baby boy. And I wanted to be with him. I wanted to squeeze his chunky legs and soft cheeks. I wanted to kiss him and stroke his hair. I wanted to hold his hand and nibble on his fat toes.

The good news is -- I'll be able to do all of that again. The bad new is -- I have to be patient until that time comes. I'm not a very patient person.

You see, we don't necessarily wish Robbie was not in heaven and back here on earth. We recognize that Robbie is experiencing Paradise and that those experiences would blow our earthly minds. We just long to be Home with him.

I have told some of you before that as I imagined my arrival in heaven, I could only think of my reunion with Robbie. I felt terrible that I might run past Jesus on my way to hug my little boy. Then, the Truth hit me. Were it not for Jesus and His submission to God's marvelous plan of redemption, I would have no hope of seeing Robbie again. At that realization, Jesus became so much sweeter to me. He was not only saving my soul, but His Grace was saving my Robbie and guaranteeing our reunion. Now, I am certain that I will run for Jesus first to tell Him "thank you" for His priceless gift. And Robbie won't be far behind, I'm sure.

Of course, my greatest desire is for all of my children to choose Christ and for Heaven to be Home. We pray that Eveley Joy will grow up to love and serve Christ every day of her life.

"Our citizenship is in heaven and from it, we await a Savior, Jesus Christ." Phillippians 3:20

"You are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God."

Ephesians 2:19

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21

As far as the exact title - "Homesick" - it popped into my head one afternoon while I was driving and listening to the radio. This song was playing, and it sums up my thoughts very well.

Here are the words:


You’re in a better place, I’ve heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I’ve rejoiced for you
But the reason why I’m broken, the reason why I cry Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I‘ve never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord because I don’t understand Your ways The reason why, I wonder if I’ll ever know
But even if You showed me the hurt would be the same
Because I’m still here so far away from home

In Christ there are no goodbyes
In Christ there is no end
So I’ll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home’s where my heart is then I’m out of place
Lord won’t you give me strength to make it through somehow
I‘ve never been more homesick than now

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Rev. 21:4